Frankly, there were few things I expected to find in my apartment less than Chase Llewellyn chatting up my roommate Eloise. I almost wanted to check the address because I was sure it had to be in the wrong place.
No, there he was, so pretty in a white dress shirt and sweater vest. Dapper, but in some intrinsically different way than Mr. McIntyre.
“Oh, there she is,” Chase said in his drawn out, somewhat feminine voice.
Eloise giggled and covered her mouth. In her hand was some fizzy pink drink.
“Hi, Abigail!” Eloise chimed drunkenly.
I didn’t know what to say. I just stared.
“It’s a Sloe Gin Fizz,” Eloise said carefully through her drunkenness, enunciating each word. “Want one?”
I wanted to be mad, but frankly, I hadn’t seen my dour roommate smile like that in- well, ever. Chase put the cap on a bottle of liquor and patted Eloise on her knee. As he got up, I could see her cheeks bright red from the intimacy of his casual touch.
“It was really lovely talking to you El, but I’ve got to chat with Abby for a little bit. You’ll be here though? We can talk more about those records I told you about,” he said with a smile.
Chase was charming, syrupy sweet with an edge of sarcasm that I wasn’t sure Eloise got in her state. She was smiling and nodding to Chase, moon-eyed. He was very pretty. Then she looked at me and raised her eyebrows and swooned.
Chase took me into my bedroom and sighed as he closed the door. He smiled and shook his head.
“That’s some roommate,” he said and winked.
I sat on my bed and wondered what he was doing in my apartment. I wondered what was next in this crazy ride. He could have done anything, and I wouldn’t have been surprised. Ripped off his clothes, ripped off mine, snapped a picture, sang a song.
Though in classic style, silly me, silly Abigail was still surprised.
“Do you like dancing?” he said looking into my closet and flipping through my dresses.
“I- um- I guess,” I started.
He turned around with one of my older dresses, something I almost never wore. Why were these people so consumed with my clothes?
“Put this on, we’re going out,” he said with an expectant gleam in his eye.
And so I did, because no matter my inner turmoil or my never-ending introspection, I always did what they told me. Not just because that’s who I was and that’s what I did, but because whatever they told me seemed to be far more interesting than anything I could think of doing myself.
I didn’t know much about music or nightlife. Though I’m sure, that isn’t very surprising.
We went uptown, further north than I’d ever been in the city. Chase was having some funny conversation with the cab driver, something I never did. The old man at the wheel laughed at Chase’s jokes, and I saw him looking at me from the rearview mirror.
“You two make a sweet couple!” he said with a crude laugh.
Chase put his arm around me.
“That’s what I’ve been saying, but I don’t think I’m her type,” he said giving me a wink.
When we got to the club, four or five couples were milling around on the corner, and Chase seemed to know everyone. Tall, thin men in light, colorful suits slapped his hand. Pretty girls with ratted hair kissed him on the cheek.
There was a long line of people dressed to the nines. I’d read that places like this existed, but I’d never been to a jazz club or any club. The women had huge hair and short skirts, both in every color of the rainbow. Everyone was smiling and looking cool. I felt like an impostor as Chase pulled me by the arm and we bypassed the whole line. When we got the door, a massive guy in a black suit smiled widely and opened the door for us.
As we walked through the door, it was like that scene in the Wizard of Oz, when they went over the rainbow and everything suddenly changed. From a dark night on a somewhat dirty block in Harlem, the world became a loud, bright kaleidoscope of music, flashing lights, and thick smoke. There were people everywhere in fabulous clothes, holding cocktail glasses, laughing, flirting, and dancing. Chase dragged me through the crowd until we were in front of the stage. There was a single empty table, and he sat us at it just as the stage darkened.
“I think this table is reserved,” I whispered, pointing at the little white card that said the same.
He rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, for us!” he said impatiently.
I watched his face light up as drums rolled and a spotlight hit the curtain. He was entranced. He was in his element. I sat back and tried to see what he saw.
The red velvet curtain opened, and a young woman stepped into the spotlight. She was beautiful, in a silver sequined dress with matching shoes and a huge beehive hairdo with little silver and red flowers poking out of it in all directions. Her skin was dark and silky, and her eyes sparkled.
She smiled wide and bright, looking out at the crowd. When her eyes came to our table, she gave Chase a wink. I felt like I was in a television show.
She sang standards, though in a way I’d never heard them before. Swaying her hips to “Brother Can You Spare a Dime,” and “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend.”
After a few songs the curtain opened wider, and we could see the whole band. The music changed to new songs I’d never heard before, and behind us, people started dancing.
“Okay, kiddo, I’m guessing you don’t know how to cut a rug,” Chase said standing up and holding out his hand.
I didn’t, I wasn’t even sure what he was talking about, but he took my hand and pulled me to my feet.
“You’ll figure it out, honey, just follow my lead,” he said pulling me into the crowd.
Something happened out there on the floor. The music was so loud I couldn’t hear that voice in my head telling me what to worry about. Everyone was happy and laughing, and I just kicked my feet and tried to follow what they were doing.
After what seemed like hours of dancing Chase pulled me through the crowd, and we went up a spiral staircase in the back of the club.
We exited the stairs into a long hall. We could hear the music below, but there was other music ahead of us, and the herby smell that I instinctively knew was marijuana. I felt like I should have been more nervous than I was, but the whole experience was so surreal, and Chase was so comforting, holding my hand, I was just curious what I would see next.
We walked through a doorway with a beaded curtain and entered a large dimly lit room full of people sitting on couches and pillows on the floor. The music was exotic, Indian maybe. Everyone was smoking from large pipes or hookahs, and no one was talking.
Chase led me to the far corner of the room, and we sat on a sort of fainting couch. I looked at Chase to see what I was supposed to do, but he merely smiled and looked around the room, watching the strange collection of people, so I did the same.
“We were worried about you,” he whispered.
I wanted to find a hole to crawl into.
“It’s okay that you left. Nobody is mad or anything. It was your first time seeing something like that, and it can be a lot for someone. I know back when I met Jake, the first thing he took me too, I was pretty freaked out,” he said laughing to himself as he remembered.
“Did you leave in the middle?” I asked, hoping he might have had the same reaction.
He rolled his eyes a little.
“Well, no. I’m a different sort than you. I’d already been with some fellas back home. Jake took me to a party though, a black tie thing where everyone wore masks. At around midnight they all took off their clothes and left their masks on and, well, there was a lot of fucking.”
“And, you, stayed and watched?” I asked, wondering what I would do in a situation like that.
Chase slipped his hand around my waist nodded.
“Oh, honey, I jumped right into the fray. I was the belle of the ball. Sucking and fucking and everything else,” he explained as quietly as he could.
“But that’s me. I mean, take Marcy for example. She went to all kinds of things before she played with anyone but Jake. We didn’t know what to make of her in the beginning. She would just go to things and watch without saying a word,” he added.
I could imagine Marcy standing in the middle of some sordid party, doing nothing but watching. I wondered how she met him, how he knew she would like the things he did. She seemed to be so brave and adventurous. I couldn’t imagine having anything Mr. McIntyre wanted when he had a woman like that.
Looking around I saw people kissing, smoke flowing out of red lips, flashes of skin here and there. A woman struggling out of her red dress in the middle of the room, her large breasts swaying as various people watched.
Chase smiled as I looked around.
“How about you, kiddo? I’m guessing you never been to a kinky party or anything, but have you read about it? Have you thought about it? Ever got one of those vanilla dates to give your butt a little spanking?” he said with a playful smile.
“I haven’t been on many dates at all. Certainly, none that ended in a spanking. I, um, yeah, I got some books and magazines. A lot of them, actually. You know you can send away for them? They come in very discreet packaging,” I said, giddy and shocked at the words coming out of my mouth.
I was telling a near stranger the secrets that I had worried all my life would get out. It was a horrifying thought, yet there was something so exhilarating about saying it out loud.
Chase’s smile widened.
“Oh yeah, I know those magazines. All those Bettie Page spreads? Pretty girls tied up on a couch. Oh, that was my bread and butter for a long time. Not to mention the boy on boy mags. All those sailors and mustachioed ruffians. Oh what a time to be alive,” he said, sitting closer, his hand on my knee.
I didn’t think Chase was coming on to me at first. He had such a strange way, like one of my girlfriends. Plus, well, he said a lot of things about boys. I thought he was one of those men I read about in Genet novels. The way he looked at me though, and the way everyone in the room was acting, made me more and more aware that the world was big and complicated and because could be lots of things at the same time.
Still, there was an air of him only being there because of Mr. McIntyre. Maybe it was like when Marcy visited me. His hand on my knee was an extension of Mr. McIntyre. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
Chase leaned over, his hand moving up my thigh a little, his mouth near my ear.
“He’s going to ask you back, you know. You get another chance, if you want one,” he said as low as he could.
He slipped his other arm around me, his hand resting on my back. There was something about the placement of his hand. It was a simple thing, he just moved a little closer and put his palm on the base of my spine, but it made my body wake up a little.
“I want another chance,” I whispered.
The girl in front of us was finally out of her dress, and she was smiling widely and stretching. With her arms in the air, her breasts seemed even larger, and I was hypnotized by the way she swayed her body to the music.
“It’s not going to be easy, Abby,” Chase said, now whispering into my ear.
“He’s going to initiate you,” he explained.
The word frightened me.
“He’s going to see if you can play in his world,” he said, his hand making little circles on my back.
“Will he hit me, the way he hit Marcy?”
Chase purred into my ear.
“I don’t think you are ready for that, though he’ll probably hurt you. He’ll have to test you, see what you can handle. He’ll see what you want to handle. I’m not sure what he’ll do, to be honest, it’s been very different for each of us.”
I felt Chase move closer, his lip just brushing my ear.
“Do you like watching that girl?” he asked sweetly.
I didn’t know the answer, but I couldn’t stop looking at her. Her body was so different from mine, different from Marcy’s, different from any woman I’d seen naked in real life. Her breasts were large and full, her hips were wide, her bottom was round, but her waist was somehow thin. A man was crawling up to her as I watched and then the two of them were kissing
“Did Mr. McIntyre tell you to bring me here?” I asked slowly, as Chase kissed my neck for the first time.
“He asked me to see if you were okay,” Chase said between kisses.
“Are you okay, Abigail?” he chuckled.
“I am,” I said, wondering if it was true.
“I feel stupid for running away. I wanted to stay, it all just seemed so intimate. I felt like I was intruding,” I said starting to feel dizzy from his lips on my neck.
The woman’s hands were in the air again, and she was moving her hips as the man kneeled in front of her and kissed her breasts.
“That’s part of why you’re so lovely, Abby. You really are innocent,” he said with a smile.
He was wrong, of course. Anyone who had read my diary would have known I was full of impure thoughts. I was a pervert, dreaming up all kinds of scenarios involving my boss or my old teachers or even Marcy Peterson.
The woman dancing in front of us was now being sandwiched between two men. Each of the men kissed one of her breasts, while their hands slipped between her legs. Looking around the room, I saw other combinations of naked or semi-naked people. Two men were roughly kissing and wrestling on a couch. A bearded man and a young redheaded woman were groping each other on the floor.
“Abigail, can I kiss you?” Chase asked, as if he were asking for her to pass the milk.
“Oh, why?” I asked, unsure.
Marcy didn’t ask. She just took what she wanted.
“Well, I thought it might be nice,” he said with wide eyes and a laugh on his lips.
“Oh,” I thought about it for a minute. Looking around at all of the people lazily touch each other, the naked woman being kissed by several people at once, the couple having sex on the other couch, it all made me squirm and bite my lip and feel dizzy. It wasn’t like the way Mr. McIntyre made me feel, though, it was a simpler kind of desire.
“Okay, if you want, I-I just thought you liked boys.”
“Oh, Abby, I like all sorts of things,” he said turning me towards him and kissing me.
I’d been kissed before, certainly. Mark Thompson behind the bleachers, Mr. Brodsky from secretarial school, and others. Sometimes sweet, sometimes sloppy, none of them anything like Chase’s kiss.
He held me around my waist, pulled me close, kissed me deeply. The tension faded away, and I fell into the kiss, into his strong hands and hungry mouth. The room swam as my eyes closed and the music and the smoke and the incense all mixed together into a hypnotic drug.
His tongue was quick and slipped between my lips, but just a little. His hands felt stronger than I imagined, for such a thin man. They slipped from my hips to my back and then down to my butt.
We were in this crazy place with wild music and people doing drugs and taking off their clothes, but it felt like high school. There was something silly and youthful in Chase’s eyes. Not like Mr. McIntyre’s look.
When the kiss finally ended, I was dreamy and happy, but in the pit of my stomach, I wondered if it was right.
Chase smiled at me like he knew.
“This is part of it too, you know. This is part of Jake’s plan.”
I was confused, but that seemed to be my default.
“He has his girls and his boys, a whole little box of playthings. He can’t be your Prince Charming. He isn’t going to change thought. You have to change. Do you know what I mean?”
Chase moved next to me and cuddled up close. His hand was back on my knee. We were watching the couple in front of us, the woman with the large breasts.
“Her name is Lindy. She comes here a lot,” Chase whispered to me.
“Everybody goes crazy for those big tits of hers, and she loves it. Some girls would feel bad about that, sort of like objectification or something, but that’s just how Lindy likes it,” he explained.
As we watched, the man kneeling on the floor in front of Lindy was joined by a girl. There was something classically beautiful about her, with straight blonde hair and high cheekbones and hardly any makeup. She kneeled and watched Lindy dance her slow gyration. It was like they were worshiping her.
Lindy slipped out her panties. She was only in blue stockings and a white garter belt. Her dark hair and sever bangs reminded me of Bettie Page, but her body was all Jayne Mansfield.
I could see what Chase meant. How she danced for them. How their eyes weren’t on her face, but on her breasts. How they ogled her. There was something to that. Not all the time, not from strangers, but in that room. Letting people reduce you to something base. Becoming just a pair of big tits. Becoming an object.
I became aware of Chase’s hand moving up my thigh. I got scared for a moment, but looking around the room, I relaxed. Everyone was necking. Every hand was buried between someone else’s legs. Everyone was half naked.
The thing about an object is they don’t think. They don’t have to make choices. They just get used. That sounded so nice at that moment. That seemed so easy. So much easier than worrying and debating and planning and agonizing.
I let my legs part slowly. I kept my eyes on Lindy’s big tits. Objectifying her as I let Chase use me. She was hypnotic. As I watched, the man and the woman kneeling in front of her, her worshippers, moved in on her, their hands on her legs, moving up to her hips.
Chase purred in my ear as his hands moved further up.
In front of us, the man got up on his knees and took one of Lindy’s large breasts in his hands. There was an ecstatic look on his face as he touched it and squeezed it and finally brought the large nipple to his mouth. The woman who knelt in front of Lindy buried her face between Lindy’s legs.
“This is good practice, Abigail. See, it’s fun to watch. Do you like what you see?” Chase whispered into my ear.
I couldn’t do more than nod. I did like it. I was just another member of the audience. Everyone in the room was watching them. I looked around at all the other on the couches and on the floor. So many eyes on the dancing woman and her two worshippers.
Then my eyes fell on a young couple, college-aged kids, a guy and a girl. They weren’t watching the threesome, their eyes, I realized, were on me.
Looking down, I saw my dress was pulled up to almost my waist, and Chase’s hand was on my exposed thigh, right above where my stockings ended.
Looking back at the couple, I saw they were set up the opposite way. She had her hand in his lap, her fingers disappearing into the zipper of his trousers. Their eyes were on me, I felt them. As I watched them, the girl started to pull his penis out of his pants.
Chase felt me tense. He slowly, but firmly, spread my legs.
“Oh, I don’t know about you, kiddo, by I’m pretty curious what that guy is packing, aren’t you?”
Chase’s fingers were at the very edge of my panties, on my inner thigh. My breath caught as I realized he could probably already feel how wet I was.
The girl pulled her partner’s cock out of his pants. It was long and somewhat thin. Not very similar to Mr. McIntyre’s. Still, it looked gorgeous. Perhaps even less daunting than Mr. McIntyre’s.
Chase’s fingers teased me, just dipping under the silk of my panties, touching the very top of my thigh, so close. I felt his fingers wet with me, which made my cheeks even hotter.
“Not bad at all. Pretty nice actually. Do you think she’s going to suck it, Abigail?” he whispered.
I nodded, though I wasn’t even sure he could see. I thought she should suck it. How could you not suck it? As I watched, I felt my heart speed up. I felt my breath quicken. I wanted to grab her hair and force her head down on that hard cock.
I didn’t even really put together that the pleasure creeping up my stomach was Chase’s finger. He stopped teasing me, and his fingers crept under the fabric of my panties. His fingers were exploring me, pulling me apart, rubbing and circling, and people were watching him do it.
My legs opened wider. The couple saw. I felt cool air between my legs and Chase pulled my panties to the side, exposing me. Every instinct told me to close my thighs. Every instinct except one, the most powerful one, to be a good girl, to give people what they wanted.
Chase wanted to slip his strong slender fingers inside of me. That couple wanted to see my wet pussy. Who was I to deny them?
I turned to see the threesome, dancing Lindy and her two worshipers. Now the girl between her legs had taken off her tie-dyed dress, and the man was in boxers and an undershirt. The room was filled with moans and sighs, and everywhere there was skin, so much skin.
How was Chase so good with his fingers? How did he know even better than I did how to touch me? He kissed me again, and I felt so dirty because I couldn’t close my eyes and enjoy it, I had to keep watching. I let him slip his tongue in my mouth as his finger slipped into my wetness and I saw the girl finally suck that boy’s cock. Her mouth looking red and pretty and his cock looking so beautiful.
Then everything swirled and danced as the pleasure took over. Chase’s fingers all those cocks all that fucking, Mr. McIntyre, Marcy, my nipples burning under my bra, my hot wet pussy aching for more.
I didn’t know where to words came from, but like a mantra, I whispered “come in her mouth, shoot that come in her mouth,” as I watched the couple.
Chase growled a little laugh into my ear.
“I want to see that too, right in her pretty mouth, shoot that hot come, do it,” he said, as if he were inside of my head.
I could almost see it when it happened. His back arching. His mouth an O and the girl trying hard to keep him in her mouth, to get it all. She was a good girl too.
Then there were shooting stars, and Chase was holding me down as he finger fucked me. Fucking fucking. Fucking. The words were in my head. The cocks. The come.
Then Chase, his cheeks red, his perfect hair a little mussed. His smile wide and gorgeous.
“Well, ain’t you a little spitfire when you get off?” he said, some tinge of southern in his voice that I hadn’t noticed before.
I felt like I should fold up, hide, but I didn’t. Every muscle in my body felt relaxed. He leaned over and kissed me, and I closed my eyes, and we kissed for a long time, slow and deep and languid.
Then he straightened my panties and my dress and looked me in the eye as he sucked his fingers clean.
“See, you just needed a more relaxed atmosphere. You didn’t seem to want to run away this time,” he said with a laugh.
“I guess not. Thank you, Chase,” I said, my shyness
I kissed him on the cheek, and he smiled brightly.
“I think you’re going to be just fine. If you get through the three of us,” he said, looking back out at the party.
“Three of you?” I said, confused, but knowing in some back alley of my mind what he might mean.
“Yeah, kiddo, I think Jake is planning a real Christmas Carol for you. Three ghosts and all that. I’m the easy one. I’ve been rooting for you the whole time,” he explained.
I swallowed. My brain was still all shaken up by my orgasm. If Trudy and Marcy’s plans were anything like Chase’s, I was in for a real adventure.
The thought made me stop. I was already on an adventure. I was doing it. I was on a yellow brick road of sex and kink and wildness and at the end was the wizard. Mr. McIntyre. He wanted me to get to him. He wanted me to make it. I felt a surge of courage at that.
Looking back at Chase, his eyes were glued to the threesome. Lindy was getting fucked by the man, while the girl bent over in front of her. Lindy’s face was buried in the girl’s bottom.
“Chase, you are most certainly the Ghost of Christmas Present. You are wonderful,” I said and kissed him again.
He smiled back at me and kissed me lightly on the lips.
“Say, kiddo, I appreciate that, I really do, but I’m kind of needing some, well, release. To be honest, I don’t think it’s something you’re going to be able to handle. Would you mind terribly if I dove into the fray over there?” he said, motioning to a massive knot of people writhing on the floor in various sex acts.
I felt like the spell of the room was wearing off. It was still amazing, but my senses were getting overloaded.
“How about I leave you to it, and you can tell me all about it some other time. I’ll grab a taxi,” I said, leaning over and hugging him tightly.
“See, you’re a smart girl. You know your limitations,” he said and hugged me back.
The hug lasted an extra beat. Something strange happened. This man I hardly knew, who had just fingered me, really hugged me and I felt real caring from him.
“You’re going to be amazing,” he whispered.
And I believed him.
As I left, I saw him taking off his jacket and shirt, and I smiled thinking of him literally diving into the crowd.
Downstairs I had surprisingly little trouble getting a taxi. I sat in the back with my mind racing through the memories and my heart pounding for what was coming next.